Monthly Archives: July 2013

In Another World.

You are the northern wind, sending chills down my spine.
You are the lullaby, singing me to sleep;
You are the other half, you’re like the missing piece.

Owh my love, you don’t know,
You don’t know what you do to me.

You are all four seasons, rolled into one,
You are like the cold december snow in the warm july sun,
You are the mighty waves, under all the chaotic current.

Owh my love, you don’t know.
You don’t know what you do to me.

Like a old guitar, worn out and left behind;
I have still so much to tell you; not the healing kind,
Like how a video rolls,
All the memories and photographs in an old shoebox.

Owh my love, oh my love.
If I can just find you tonight,
If I can just find you tonight.

Sunday Morning.

8:37 am, cool Sunday morning.

Dogs on their vacation, men are running, some are walking. Young parents pushing their little kid in the stroller. Some are holding hands; others are alone. Some are making small talks, others are smiling, the rest are huffing and puffing away. The cool wind in my hair. The sun is smiling and haven’t begun to stung my skin. Those immense ancient trees providing the massive shade i’m sitting under. All those rays that cuts through the tree branches. And the air is still new and clean.

And I just breathe and breathe; the aromatic fragrance that spells beautiful.

Then an epiphany floods over my being. I thought, I would love to enjoy these quiet moments and days more than the daily normalcy where the urgency and importance of nothingness fills my days, takes away precious time and consumes my energy.

I have to find a way, to live the life I truly want to live. The way I want to live it. I know this is life – a cycle of normalcy often punctuated with a beautiful or splendid moment, almost like a colour, red; bringing life to a black and white polaroid. I also know that if I didn’t experience normalcy, how could I ever know what or how the colour red could change my life, in other words – everything and along with all the moments I experience is inter – related and I have to go through the cycle anyway. Can I just skip all the cycles and reach to the end point? I guess not, but, hey, I’m gonna find a way.

I know every moment in my life. The brain remembers every snapshot of the things that are being punctuated and held on hold for a minute or tow.

Can you imagine that, if every breath you take is that moment?

To me, it would be truly living, and the level of contentment and happiness is of another dimension.

Now, how am I to craft that life for myself. ?

On a Softer Note;

July, so far is the biggest jerk in my entire year. Work has been crazy fun, stressful, demanding and nontheless consuming. Leaving me absolutely no time for myself.

Today is one of those days, I happen to have some extra hours to spare.

I took some time for a little cleansing. I took a dark shower. Where I just shower sans the lights. This ritual never fails to perk my soul up. It helps me slow down, then I slowly realise I’m breathing. It quietens my thoughts and let me feel the total joy of water running down my skin. And I noticed how much I enjoy this. It brings me so much, much needed satisfaction that I always do this with eyes wide shut. Simply because it’s so beautiful.

And then I took time to look at myself in the mirror. I noticed more crow’s feet are forming, and not to mention that my laugh line is embedded deeper into my skin. My eyes look older and definitely wiser.

Wow, I thought. I love this. Whatever you call this, getting older, learning, experiencing everything along with time,places and people.
A thousand memories ran across my mind, and I can almost see the future memories in front of me.

When everyday is a living epiphany, what more could I ask for? It is not perfect, but it’s perfectly satisfying.

26 & 2 Days.

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1) I’ll never be ready enough. So I’m gonna dive in.

2) I will respect and love myself more.

3) I will find for friends who share the same values in life.

4) I will love more.

5) I will commit to self-learning, every, single, day. Even if it means I have to learn how to breathe on some particular days.

That Tamed Cup.

There are many things in life we don’t value. Which we take for granted everyday, when life just passes by and you forgot how important they were like, how excited you were when you first got something.

I have this beautiful cup. It is a pleasantly mild pink in colour with white polka dots.I didn’t exactly love it. But every morning It holds my world of happiness in it. Happiness in a cup.

I didn’t really cared about it until one day – it’s gone. I’m guessing someone took it. Guess what; I felt anxious and was jumpy; I really want my cup back. It kinda affected me a little, for a while.

Everyday for a long time, whenever I stepped into the pantry – I’ll look out for my cup. But everyday a little lesser in terms of my curiosity and excitement to see if my cup was there.

After about a month. I saw someone holding it;walking into the pantry.

Owh my cup. where have you beennnnnnnnn????
I wanted to tell it that I missed it, and I was looking high and low for it. You have no idea how delighted I was when I saw that cup. I immediately knew it was mine.

But – when I saw that It was stained with coffee, with someone else’s coffee; and was tamed by someone else. Suddenly all my urge to get it back failed me there and then.

I didnt bother to even ask it back.

I had to let it go. And I did with a cheerful heart.

Someone else has tamed my cup. And you’re forever responsible for what you have tamed. All that time spent together. All that aromatic coffee and shared kisses.

And so it goes with life – I’m going to let go.

Camouflage

 

Not everything that is bright, is good, is the light.

Some are sparkly, some are blinding, some entice you with their beauty, and promises the world.

Not everything that is beautiful is beautiful.

 

 

 

Adoration.

I love that I get to see the sunrise every morning; watching the colours in the sky change makes me feel blessed. I love honest people, honest emotions. I love the look on peoples face when they get something they want. I love how emotional people get when their favourite character dies. I love the smell of freshly cut grass; and how I am totally immersed with my inner child when I’m playing in the rain.

I love that I laugh out loud so much – to the extend it annoys people enough for them to call me silly and crazy. I love the moment when I close my eyes and get drifted to somewhere.. into the clouds. I love seeing new places and travelling. I love eating and cooking.I definitely love maths and arts at the same time.

I love people who admit they are weak. I love individuals who are different – they somehow let me ┬ábe who I truly am inside. I love that I am not strong all the time, I love that I feel both extremes of emotions. I love that I breakdown sometimes and I love that I am so macho sometimes. I love that I sometimes have all the answers; and yet can be totally clueless as well.

I love that I love myself; well of course there are days I do not. But I do somehow.

Monday Mantra

Today was a long long day. Filled with duties and datelines. With a handful of reports to be done in a hurry but accurately, and minor but importantly urgent task to be zoomed into and to be delegated out.

Done with perfection.

Exhaustion is taking over me. Sleepless nights, anxious spirit, and forever curious soul, perfection-seeking persona, workaholic in a nutshell.

And the beautiful part of this moment as I’m hitting the key buttons, is that I’m appreciating and drinking in the beauty every part of my thoughts, my emotions and my physical exhaustion. This feeling of satisfaction; that I have given my all for this day. I am thoroughly expired.

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Its tiring, but it’s worth it.