Monthly Archives: December 2013

Hello – Goodbye.

Hellos and goodbyes are inevitable. Especially, when we’re at the end of the year.

I just had to write this. I was taken aback by how I felt and my behaviour, reacting to this situation.

I have been using an Iphone for a long long time now.
This particular phone was a gift. It has an intrinsic value that none can replace.

This phone is my life. It carries information that is far more private and important than my underwear drawer.

This love, has seen many sunsets and sunrises with me.
Conquered greater heights, captured many moments that are precious in my life. Read what my real thoughts are, knows what exact song to play at every particular moment. Heard me cry, yell, heard me say countless I love yous.

When a new phone magically appeared in my life,I found it hard to switch to a new phone. I was hesitant for days. Kept telling myself I don’t need a new one yet – until the current one dies on me. Felt like a big freaking leap of faith. At some punctuated moments, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Hellos and goodbyes. Are inevitable. As time passes, we change. I change. My needs change, my priorities shifts, my dimension of how I see things change.

Just couldn’t let go.

Now 2 phones lie beside me at night.
Slowly I will only lay one beside me.

Change is difficult.
Because I’m all sentimental and emotional about
endings and beginnings.

Happy New Year peeps.

I secretly love my new phone more, but I shouldn’t say it.

“She is a paradox. She is faithful and yet detached. She is commited and yet relaxed. She loves everyone, and yet no one. She is sociable but also a loner. She is gentle and yet tough. she is passionate but can also be platonic. In short, she is predictable in her unpredictability.”

Falling in love.

I’m lying on the moon
My dear, I’ll be there soon
It’s a quiet starry place
Time’s were’s swallowed up
In space, we’re here
A million miles away

There’s things I wished i knew,
there’s no thing I keep from you
It’s a dark and shiny place
But with you my dear
I’m safe and we’re a million miles away

We’re lying on the moon
It’s a perfect afternoon
Your shadow follows me all day
Making sure that I’m ok
And we’re a million miles away.

Special door to somewhere special.

Worried Shoes.

Life is just … so funny. 360 degrees. You love but don’t say it. Hate it but take it. Sick but won’t rest.
Pain but don’t walk away. Can’t hold on but holding on. So much to say but says nothing.

What If i get too old, and never got married.
And never had kids.

Gasp.

P1030008

Miss you much. XX. See you soon little butterfly.

Bacterium & Trust.

Consider the fact that I have been in bed for 3 days, my immune system has been trying to kick off some nasty invader, while penicillin is not working at its best for me. Feeling like a rotten apple. I love every bit of the space I put myself between my loved ones, but when I’m sick, the solitude that comes with that carefully measure space seems to be an immense mistake. I wished someone brought me soup. I wished someone checked if I was still burning.
I miss you much Rachel.

To think that after 3 days being in bed that my rage would actually be lying low on the rage chart. Wrong.

I’m literally pissed with most of the people around me. I’m not exactly pissed off, just amazed. I’m so sick of having to prove myself. I seem to be on some kind of test every minute of the day. Like as if, if I do X, he can tick that one box. If i did Y , he can tick the other box too. And.. wait for it. He can, then, be relieved.. that he can still think of me the way he originally did.

Seriously. Why do I have to keep proving it. Haven’t I done enough to gain it? the trust and respect. You can put me into whatever box you want, its fine with me. But don’t come to me expecting some kind of justification or explanation from me, so that you can feel better. I will never explain myself or my actions unless I need to. If I have to explain, its pretty damn clear you do not know me enough, or you have some issues you have with yourself that you need to fix.

People problems are the worst, and the best too. So good… that sometimes.. gives you breakdown.

Owh, life.

xxxx

The man on the stereo keeps telling me that he is winter wonderland. I wonder when winter wonderland will happen to my heart. Perhaps on the 24th. When I smell cinnamon and spices around the house, with that beautifully tree, and all of us sitting around dinner table jut goofing around about life. There will be happiness for the belly, for the heart, for the soul, for the brain. And doggie love from my best buddy.