Monthly Archives: May 2015

Here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.

Here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.

In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done, some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads, but they all make us who we are. And in the end, those experiences shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them, we wouldn’t be at the exact place that we are today. So just live. Make mistakes, and have wonderful times, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly, where it is that you are going.

Today feels different, feels a little emptier. A little grey-er.

May my heart be comforted in the little joys I have in life. In the colleagues that has been so utterly kind to me. In the few friends who cares for me dearly, in my sister who makes me laugh all the time. In the sunrises and sunsets that makes me feel alive. In the abundant beauty of the vast sea. In the stars that God placed in the skies. In the little giggles that Oliva makes. In the strong love bonds I have with my brothers and of course my loving-over-protective mom. In all the wind that my hair feels during a run. May my heart be thankful for my papa, who has shown me a great great love.

Life is as such.

When Dad comes to me.

Next weekend, it will be 365 days since you left us, left me. I know its not intentional, but honestly dad. I can’t stomach it still. I can’t imagine you left, I can’t accept that you left.

When you come to my dreams, You are always happy, chirpy. You always look like you just had a bath, you smell like soap. Always smiling. But you never touched me, you never let me hear your voice ( what I want VS what is neededed ). Every time you come to me, I feel overwhelmed, because its so real. So I woke up crying, and I just called you on the phone. I know I’m the definition of pathetic.

Then I realised the difference between reality and dreams.

This time last year, you were dying.

I want to let you know that we all love you, we all still love you, you are never forgotten at all. You are dearly missed. We still talk about your favourite food, we still ask the dog if he is waiting for Papa. We avoid the restaurants you like, because our stomach churns knowing that its your favourite and you’re not there. During celebrations, when we give thanks to God for the food, and for all that He has given, there is still tears. Sometimes I forget that you died, and when I want to call you, I realised that, my, my, you died. We all think of you all the time.

If I feel so much pain, I can’t imagine how mom feels.

I could scream and yell. I love you till the end. Love me till the end Pa. Be there for me.
I sincerely hope that you’re happy, and Pa, you can come to me any time, to tell me anything that you want. I will be waiting at the door.

Now and then, I talk sense.

All good things, comes from hardship,that I do not want to face.

Thankfully, I have learn that, sometimes whether I like it or not, If I have to do it.
I will do it.

And in these difficult times, where we challenge ourselves to do things we do not like, to come out of the zone and show up. It builds your character, builds your perspective.