Author Archives: Vanessa

About Vanessa

Everything you can't contain in a box

Me to you

If there are things I would ask for, I would ask for peace of mind. Calmness in my heart and liver. Bigger heart to love deeply and consumingly. The capacity to help those around me.

If there are things I could ask for, I would ask to see daddy one more time. To hear him nag one last time. To right the wrongs. To have that last meal with the rest of my family with him.

But tonight, I’m going to ask for him to get the things that he wants. May You bless him with his heart desires, he has shown me compassion, kindness and love and i hope that you could return the favour. If your path for him is to shine light in other people lives. So be it, nothing good ever stems out of selfishness. I’m scared. But I’m confident it will be ok.

They looked like clowns, jumping around, trying to show their latest act. Paraded before me like a slow motion clip.

I refuse to flinch, or react.

Simply becuase, no one is dying. The scale of this, is that no one is dying.

Phasing

Life is messy, and living it to the full can be very untidy, all over the place. Emotions, possessions, bodily functions, it’s all one big colourful mess. There is so much going on in contemporary life and we have so many options and ideas readily available to us that it’s so easy to be overwhelmed.

Accept the untidy mess, welcome what you can do with it. The act of acceptance can help you create the space on enjoying life.

Can help me at least.

On kindness to ourselves.

It doesn’t make sense to call ourselves ugly, because we don’t really see ourselves. We don’t watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don’t see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don’t see yourself looking at someone with love and care inside your heart. There’s no mirror in your way when you’re laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly yourself.

Late night musing.

I’m running high. Don’t wanna come down.

Wings, don’t fail me now. You can slow down, but don’t fail me.

 

ok brain, lets switch off and rest. The body needs rest. Let’s do this thing called compromise.

Super day

Lately, I have been feeling a little sorry for myself. And you know the thoughts in your head will capitalise on moments like these or such periods.

where you start doubting and questioning every step or intentions. Sometimes even your very being or mind on what you would think or see things

purpose in life is why we wake up Everyday. i love the job, but the purpose far superceeds the utility level here. And not everyone is blessed to be able to love the job and still carry out the purpose. Normally one is a by product of another. Yes, no? Yes.

Today Joanne asked how old am I. I answered her proudly, without flinching, “30”.

She continued, ” I’m 25, I want to be like you when I’m 30. There are people in the office that are 29,30 but I want to be successful like you”

A sigh of relief. Must have done something right.

These are the moments i live for.