Author Archives: Vanessa

About Vanessa

Everything you can't contain in a box

What to expect back.

You know how sometimes when you reach out a limb. You try to be brave, and you try to be the change you want to experience.

And all u get in return are bruises.

 

Reach out anyway. (Not applicable to assholes and people that are just difficult to love).

I think You think

Closure are for people who are ….

today, this topic came up. Someone said that they needed closure. She wanted a closure, for her mind and emotions.

Closure is disrespect. It is also disinterest. It is bad behavior, and it is also disappearing, or being flaky. No one is going to pre-empt you what you’re about to lose in life. So, please don’t waste your time on waiting for someone to say it when in reality, it has taken place.

As much as we do not want situations to be ugly. Ugly situations happens all the time. And when it does, you can hurt all you want, but don’t mix your hopes, feels with reality.

 

12:40am

Today, I feel liberated. Experienced a kind of freedom.

i have been changing the way I live life for the past 3 weeks. I drink my green juice in the morning. I work when I am required and I leave the office right on the dot (it’s better for me, better for the business).

I have been going to acupuncture, I go to the gym daily. I swim every 2 days. I consciously refrain myself from sugar. I sleep better (the answer is eat cherries before you sleep). I yoga too.

My skin is better, my metabolism is crazy. I feel hungry every night ( I have butter cookies beside my bed – I am so hungry I wake up at night !! – not fun ). I have started to read more lately.

I am trying to be a bit more Organised. I consciously pick who I hangout with, why I hangout with them and what and how can I contribute to their lives.

I have never felt so good about where and who I am right now. Yes now and then you question but, now. I am in control. Truly.

 

I do and I don’t

I think sometimes when i don’t think, things turn out better. Rather than anticipating everything in a very mathematical and statistical way.

Can I think of less things ? I shouldn’t think so much of what I think.

 

That feeling.

For a long long time, I haven’t had this warm and fuzzy feeling. That one feeling that makes me feel at peace, and sort of taken care of. Like as if someone understood things and how I truly feel on the inside.

I’m 30 but i still struggle to understand this cloud of feelings. Today, someone reminded me what Love is, it is loving – through, both the good and bad times. Crying AND laughing together.

Holding hands and tiding through together.

I think for a long time, I wasn’t willing to look or be open to the part that its both the good and bad. I wanted the good, and easy, and the fast, and the visible. I forgot that in this life, there are a lot of bad and unspoken, uncomfortable things that people go through (and i forgot i go through it too).

Today I learn to be a little more about love.