Author Archives: Vanessa

About Vanessa

Everything you can't contain in a box

Saturdays

Between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, is a day of mourning – the death of Jesus Christ.

And when He died, everyone that loved Him was met by grief. Little that anyone knew that a Sunday would come, that happiness would come around the next day, a day to celebrate and to give thanks for.

Out of death rose life.

There will always be Saturdays in your life – be it the Saturday last for 24 hours, a month, a year, 10 years, but Easter will come. Alongside that, you can always find (momentarily) happiness in waiting and mourning. Breathe in each day that you’re in.

And when Easter comes, you celebrate in awe. All things are given in His timing.

 

Happy Easter

Say a little prayer

If you (ever have the capacity) the privileged and have the upper hand to choose who you can (want to) be.

Choose to reach out, choose to be responsible.Choose to tell the truth, choose to take opportunities. Choose to bridge the gap, choose to make things better. Choose kindness for yourself, and for others.

And of course there will be times, where and when you have no capacity to choose, because you are tired and weary because selfish and bad people exist, love falls apart and shitty things happens.

Choose to be thankful for all that you have- even in the midst of losing, Choose to be grateful for how far you have come, Choose to see the bigger picture, choose to walk away, choose to breathe and choose to be kind to yourself. Choose to see your worth from all the different eyes who loves you dearly.

 

Things are getting a little out of hand. Actually I’m getting a little out of hand. Seem to have zero control over the things around me, and whats worst – I seem to be losing grip of myself. I might have been a little harsh on myself lately – this expectation that i need to meet solely made up by me. haha. silly me. Its Friday and i finally got my keys to my apartment. I’m starting to find my ground in this new place. It has not been a long time, but i can see now who are the people i can work with, together and who are ready to fight battles, side-by-side. Which is great- this segregation of people helps me know who are worth it and who are not. I was feeling a little upset with myself because I was so preoccupied with adjusting I forgot how to feel. How to truly be present. It was daddy’s birthday but i couldnt find time to think and reflect about him, because I was too busy feeling tired.

Rest girl, rest. You need it.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

 

Tonight.

I’m lying on my bed, typing away from my laptop, because I’m working from home. Mid Jan.

  1. I have brought work home twice this month because i cant keep up with my bosses’ and business’s demands. I literally feel like im just drowning. And most of the time I’m just winging it because. It’s a new job, and a new country. So many things to know, to learn.
  2. I have started to drink coffee again. This as a result has made a few knots in my stomach – highly uncomfortable and unhealthy.
  3. I have started to run more though, and rowing. My upper back breaks, but for good.
  4. I have made myself leave the office at 7pm max. ( Please refer point 1 ).
  5. I love my niece more and more. She’s a handful but shes lovely and a kid. When she hugs me and says ‘night night’. so.much.love.
  6. Feels like im failing. Feels like it. Like i cant keep the promises I made to myself.

 

 

 

When the night skies are filled with stars, and the water is calm.

Pack up
I’m straight
Enough
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say

Wait, they don’t love you like i love you
Wait, they don’t love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don’t love you like i love you…

Made off
Don’t stray
My kind’s your kind
I’ll stay the same

Pack up
Don’t stray
Oh, say say say
Oh, say say say

Wait! they don’t love you like i love you
Wait! they don’t love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-aps, wait!
They don’t love you like i love you…
Wait! they don’t love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-aps, wait!
They don’t love you like i love you…

Wait, they don’t love you like i love you
Wait, they don’t love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don’t love you like i love you…
Wait, they don’t love you like i love you
Ma-a-a-a-ps, wait!
They don’t love you like i love you…

#butHelovedyoumore

This year.

For all good things require time to build, for all good things require patience and deep rooted understanding of human behaviours and surroundings, and through a lot of figuring out and failures. For all the things I do not understand or have the slightest idea of the bigger picture.

There is no instant gratification, there can be – but you lose them instantly as well.

So it is with my career, all my relationships, and all the things that bring true and deep meaning in my life, takes time and effort.

 

This year, I will take time to build things that lasts.